Feeling empty can be a frightening and lonely experience. And it generates different feelings in different people.
You may feel unfulfilled, confused about where your life is going and powerless to do anything about it. You can also feel lonely or cut off from other people.
Or you might feel numb. Some people even say they feel incomplete inside.
Whatever you might be feeling is valid. And you’re not alone.
But why do you feel so empty? And what can you do about it?
In this article, we will explore reasons why you might feel empty. We will also give you seven steps that you can follow to release this empty feeling so you can feel more fulfilled and happy again.
Let’s start with two reasons why emptiness may have overtaken you.
Reason 1: Stress
For many of us, life moves fast.
You may have a demanding job. Young children to take care of. Or it could be elderly parents who need your help. You might be dealing with all three scenarios.
It’s very easy to lose yourself in situations like this. You are probably just trying to get from one minute to the next and you likely feel like your personal, emotional or spiritual needs come last.
If this wasn’t enough, you may also have other stressors in your life.
You may have health issues, financial problems or an unhappy relationship.
Just one of these issues alone can push your stress to the max, let alone a combination of issues.
Unfortunately, many of the methods we use to cope with stress – like grabbing a second glass of wine or endless scrolling of reels on social media – only help for a little while. Over the long run, these methods can make us feel worse.
This is when feelings of hopelessness, or powerlessness can overtake you. And if you’re unable to deal with these feelings, you may push them aside or bury them.
Now burying your feelings is a coping mechanism. But this coping mechanism can lead to emptiness, where you’re no longer interested in things you used to enjoy, you’ve lost your direction and motivation, and you feel alone.
Yet this isn’t the only reason why you feel empty.
Reason 2: Unresolved Pain From Your Past
As a baby, your nature was pure, loving, and fearless. You were born this way. We all were.
However, many people experience trauma as infants and children. And trauma happens in countless ways.
For example, you may feel unworthy of love if your mother didn’t bond with you as a baby. Or you may feel unsafe because your dad took his anger out on you.
Yet trauma also happens in more subtle ways, like a grandmother saying you’ll never amount to anything. Or when kids pick on you at school.
Keep in mind, ANY experience can be traumatic to a child – no matter how harmless you may think it is now, as an adult.
Plus, you may have re-experienced traumas, at different times over the years. Any of these experiences could have reinforced your belief or beliefs that you’re unsafe, unworthy, unloved, and so on.
Bottom line…
…if you had no way of dealing with these traumas as a child, you kept your unresolved pain. In addition, you developed coping mechanisms, like burying your pain, taking it out on others, trying to please people, or a combination of things.
Either way, the pain stays with you.
As you grew to be an adult, different events could have added to your pain. For example, a breakup with your partner may have solidified your belief that you’re unworthy of love.
And over time, with event after event, the coping mechanisms you developed as a child no longer work.
Now, just as it can happen with too much stress, unresolved pain can also leave you feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, and powerless to do anything about it.
And if you combine your unresolved pain with any stress you’re experiencing, it’s easy to see why you can feel so empty.
Fortunately, there is hope.
Here are 7 steps that can help:
1. Get Up and Move
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with panic, anxiety, worry, emptiness or inability to emotionally take any action, the first step is to ‘get up and move’. Take a shower. Go for a walk. Clean your house. Practice stretching/yoga or anything you like to do, as long as you are moving.
Why?
Any kind of physical activity helps to stabilize your mind and sense of well-being. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise releases natural brain chemicals or “feel-good endorphins'' that can help you feel calmer and more at ease. This makes it easier to take the next steps that can help you feel better.
2. Talk About Your Feelings, Out Loud
Talking about your feelings – out loud – helps you uncover buried emotions. You empty your heart and mind. Over time, you’re able to release these emotions and your pain.
One way to do this is by talking with someone you trust. It could be a friend, family member, doctor, or teacher. You can even talk to your pet or the trees in your backyard.
But if you still feel like you have no one to talk to, you have options.
Reach Out to Mental Health Organizations or Helplines:
If you live in the
United States: https://www.nami.org/help
Canada: https://cmha.ca/find-help/
This site provides a list of helplines, by country: https://findahelpline.com/
And for other countries worldwide: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htm or https://checkpointorg.com/global/
Emptiness can be a sign of serious mental health challenges, like depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. If you feel unable to cope with emptiness, or any emotion like sadness and rage, ask for help now.
Here’s another option where you can talk with someone:
Use the Free, Confidential Service, I Listen U
I Listen U is a free, confidential service, where you can share whatever is on your mind with a trained listener.
These listeners are trained by MaitriBodh Parivar to practice inner silence and acceptance. This creates a “safe space” where you can fully and freely express your thoughts and emotions, without any judgment or advice.
You can book a free, 30-minute Zoom session here:
3. Accept Your Situation and Your Feelings With Compassion
You may have come to realize that pushing your feelings away hasn’t helped. Neither has trying to avoid the situation. The emptiness is still with you.
The only way you can move past emptiness is to allow your feelings and accept that you feel this way. This can be a difficult process, especially if you’re used to burying your emotions.
Here are some tips that can help you through this process:
Be Gentle With Yourself
It’s not your fault that you feel empty, sad, alone, or any combination of emotions. Always remember, right now, you are doing the best that you can.
So give yourself compassion, just like you might with a friend or pet who is feeling down. Or to quote author Matt Kahn, “You deserve more love, not less.”
Set Time Aside Every Day to Be By Yourself, Allowing Whatever Feeling Comes Up
Yes, this can be difficult – especially if you’ve spent years avoiding your feelings by scrolling through Tik Tok or watching TV.
But make a commitment to sit with yourself, every day, with no expectations or judgements. Even 15 minutes a day can make a difference. Pick a method that works best for you such as…
Meditating or watching your breath
Writing in a journal
Scanning your body for any sensations, such as tightness, movements, or pain
Or any combination of the above.
Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself questions such as…
Why am I feeling numb?
What’s behind this feeling of numbness?
What am I trying to avoid?
How am I treating myself?
How am I treated by others, and how do I feel about this?
Become the “watcher”. Instead of getting pulled into your feelings, try to watch whatever arises with curiosity and compassion.
Remember, these feelings come from parts of you that were traumatized, often multiple times over the years. As you acknowledge and accept these feelings, you may go through the grieving process. And feelings you may not expect, such as rage, could come up.
This may feel very uncomfortable. But don’t give up. Remind yourself: Every part of me is worthy and deserves more love, not less.
Over time, it will get easier. You’ll begin to realize you can accept difficult feelings and still be OK. As you do, emotions like emptiness, overwhelm, and loneliness are replaced with peace, acceptance, and quiet happiness.
4. Practice Self-Care
You are important. Anything you feel is acceptable. And you are worthy of love, just like anyone else. Yet it can be easy to lose sight of this when you feel empty or numb.
Just giving yourself time to practice Steps 1 and 2 is self-care. But you should also make it a point to:
Set aside 7 hours for sleep. If you can’t sleep, don’t turn on the TV or look at social media. Read a good book. Meditate. Journal. Do something quiet until you feel sleepy.
Exercise. Even if you can only exercise for 10 minutes, do it. It can be as simple as taking a 10-minute walk or following a 10-minute exercise video in your living room.
Eat healthy. If you need help with this, consider meeting with a dietician to get easy, quick, and healthy meal plans. (Quick meals can reduce your stress, too!)
Whatever you do, always remind yourself that your needs are important, too. And remember, you can’t help anyone if you’re not healthy and emotionally well.
5. Get Help Dealing With Stress
You can’t wave a magic wand and make stress go away. But you can find ways to lower it. And this can help reduce overwhelm, hopelessness, and other feelings that can make you feel empty.
Just practicing Steps 1 through 3 will reduce stress and make it easier to deal with the issues you’re facing.
However, you can take additional steps to make your life easier. For example, you can:
Talk with a money counselor if you have financial problems.
Ask friends or relatives for help.
Share “kid duties” with a neighbor or friend. For example, you pick up the kids from school one week, while your friend does it the next week.
There are also agencies who will connect you with services that can help.
Here are a few agencies, if you live in the US:
Help for Communities and Families: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/ocs/help
Support and Resources for Your Family: https://childcare.gov/consumer-education/support-programs
Eldercare Locator – connects you with services for older adults: https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/index.aspx
Resources for aging adults and their families: https://www.loc.gov/nls/resources/general-resources-on-disabilities/resources-senior-citizens-families/
And if you live in Canada:
Canadian Seniors Directory: https://www.canadianseniorsdirectory.ca/
Programs and Services for Seniors: https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/campaigns/seniors.html
Community based supports for parents: https://cps.ca/en/first-debut
Get Additional Support Through a Special Energy Process
Sometimes, we could all use a quick boost of positive energy. That’s why MaitriBodh Parivaar developed the energy exchange process, called Maitri Light.
Maitri Light is a highly effective and profound process that combines a powerful prayer with positive universal energies. Trained mediums connect with you online to share this energy. You can request Maitri Light to relieve stress or any emotion you’re experiencing.
The whole process takes ten minutes and it’s completely free. You can request a free session here:
6. Spend Time With People Who Lift You Up
Whether you feel empty and numb, or sad and afraid, you need to be around people who can help you feel better.
That means you need to be around positive people. You may know some now, like certain friends or family members, who are willing to talk with you and share ideas. They can also be people you haven’t met yet, including a therapist or support group.
If you want to expand your circle of positive people to hang out with, here are 2 steps you can take:
Contact one of the mental health organizations listed in Step 2 to find a local support group. If there are none close to you, many offer online group sessions.
Join a mom’s club, seniors’ facility, a walking group, youth drop-in center or any group where you share something in common.
7. Give Yourself Some Applause
Always remember: Changing how you deal with your emotions is not a straight-forward process.
Sometimes, you’ll take two steps forward, and then one step back. You may even feel like you’re going around in circles.
This is normal. It’s like climbing a circular staircase. As you climb, you see things a little differently with each stair, even if you feel like you’re not making much progress.
So give yourself some applause. You are doing the best that you can, with what you know and have, right now.
Over time, you will feel a difference.
You Can Overcome Emptiness and Live a Happier Life
Translation from English to Portuguese should be sent for whom? Luka and I are working on it. Thanks beloved friends of our Divine Friend!!! Tooo much love Dada! Too much love for your Maitri Mission!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
So many good pointers!
Beautifully written with so much care and information. Priceless advices from Maitreya Dadashreeji. I pray this reaches a lot many people. Thank you